Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize