she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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