Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
