I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize