So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
