the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
