Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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