She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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