I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
