Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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