know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize