guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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