you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
