but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
