Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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