hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize