oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
