I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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