pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
one might say we're banned from that church
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
