How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
