just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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