So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
