she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
