That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
In America we eat man semen.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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