I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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