Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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