why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
