theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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