I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
