problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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