Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
