4 words: hood of his car
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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