I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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