Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
