i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
