Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
