I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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