we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
