Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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