The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
