we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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