Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
