I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
