Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
