To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
