Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
