Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
