shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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