Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
