1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
splinters make it hard to masturbate
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
All I want is dick and wine.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
