dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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