I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize