i was born a porn star she said
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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