you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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