I am puke
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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