I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
