Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
