dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
