my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
