There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
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