I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You ruined the universe
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
