I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
