just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
