Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just google imaged poop.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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