You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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