Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
