i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
