Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
