You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize