i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
