I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
