Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
