I hate your face
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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