Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I got inside last night via doggy door
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
