The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize