WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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