Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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